Tuesday, April 12, 2005, 10:40 AM
no attraction=attraction theory
I was woken up at 6.50am by the vibrations of my darned phone. I saw the number and went back to sleep.Didn't pick up.But it DID disturbed my sleep.I wondered why did the person call me for?At the wake of the dawn somemore.Its been ages since I last heard his voice over the phone.Moreover,HE calling me.That's even rarer.I couldnt help but feel kinda excited.But I shrugged it off.Having to remind myself that it was HE who left me and I'll probably be disappointed by whatever outcome.Still,curiosity got the better of me.I called him back later in the morning.Apparently,it was nothing but a false alarm.He didn't even know he called.See.I knew sth like this would happen.They say once bitten,twice shy.Man just don't learn their lessons, do they?Stubborn creatures.
In the movie "Someone like you",the heartbroken lead actress comes up with a "Old Cow, New Cow" theory.It states that men, like bulls, are inherently designed not to mate with the same female more than once. A bull will copulate with a new cow, but once his service is over, the bull will look for a new mate, branding the female cow from new to old. And no matter what the old cow does to entice the bull, he will not go for her anymore.
For me,this is my theory.For the ones still holding on:Falling for someone whom you were never that into to begin with, or who reeled you in simply for the challenge, in which the main attraction in the relationship,is the lack of attraction.
Don't get it?
Read on.
Girl meets less-than-stellar guy. Girl dates less-than-stellar guy. Girl gets broken up with by less-than-stellar guy, and girl sinks into a horrible funk over losing, quite frankly, a guy who probably wasn't worth her time in the first place. So what's with all the tears?
A lot times,you date people who you know you're not into (or who are otherwise inappropriate) because there is less risk if it doesn't work out. Its a presumed safety of superiority.When it ends, you can say, "Well, he/she was not right for me anyway," and then climb right back onto that treadmill and repeat the cycle. How much worse can it get when the person you went out with primarily as an ego boost (let's be honest here) winds up rejecting you? It's a vicious downward spiral where you end up feeling lower than low in the end.The next time, you'll probably aim even lower. And it continues until you hit rock bottom and finally decide that you're better off alone.
You were not that into him/her.But, somewhere somehow, your ego got involved, and you needed him/her to be into you. Perhaps you just wanted the attention and got baffled when he/she pulled away. Or maybe you became so into making him/her like you that you got into a relationship just so you could validate yourself.
For better or worse, you actually start to fall for him/her. If the feelings reciprocate, then great. But if he's/she's everything you ever thought he/she wasn't and less, you're bound to feel worse for the time and effort you've spent pretending you were into him/her in the first place. If the feelings don't reciprocate, remind yourself about what you didn't see in him/her in the first place and try to get the hell out asap while the going is still good.
There.Get it?=]
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